The Worst Gear List for Stealth Camping on the South Downs Way

It’s early September 2020. That year with that pandemic. In any other year I probably would’ve been hiking for a few months already, but this summer my plans were squashed. No alpine lakes, snowy mountain tops, lush green valleys and pikas to chase. My industry has been shut down and I have no job, and while I’m keeping busy with my own projects (MYOG!) I’m feeling an itch. When the sun reappears after a cold spell during the last weeks of summer, I promptly decide to go on a hike. In England. Through the farmland. Past the pubs. And for less than a week.

Problem is, I have no gear.

It’s in my parent’s attic. In another country. I plough through my closet and find some old bits and bobs – lots of stuff sacks, a wind jacket, old Montbell leggings with holes and my first tent – the semi free-standing Big Agnes Fly Creek UL1, but without the stakes. I imagine hiding under a tree each night and not bringing the poles so I can use the tent as a bivvy instead. That would work, right?

In two days I scrape together about 3.7 kg of gear, some old, new or repurposed. I do the walk. I SURVIVE. Was I comfortable? I aged ten years every night, other than that I was fine.

Want to know the worst gear list for the South Downs Way?

Here we go:
(Don’t bring this.)

• The Big Three
• Clothing Worn
• Clothing Packed
• Food + Drink
• Toiletries + First Aid
• Electronics + Personal Items

 

 

The Big Three (or four, or five…)

Backpack, shelter, and sleep system (quilt, or sleeping bag, and pad).

• Kosumo, the backpack I made and lovingly named after myself a month earlier. She was perfect for the walk. The load was so small I never even noticed I was carrying weight. I can’t have carried more than 6.5 kg with food and water, and that felt great. So the pack was a success.

• Fanny pack. I should probably add my fanny pack (bum bag?) here. The day before starting the hike I quickly sewed together a fanny pack with leftover fabric, webbing, and a new zip from the hobby store next to Decathlon. It held my camera and tripod for easy access, which was a great little addition. (Now I need to remake it with nicer fabrics.)

• I had my semi free-standing Big Agnes Fly Creek UL1 tent. I decided to bring the poles after all, in case I craved more cover or protection from the rain (I’m in England, after all). This was a good call. The nights were cold and after zipping myself into the tent like a bivvy the first night, I opted to erect it the others. It added some warmth. It did look very sad, without being able to properly stake it out. The tent has a small footprint which makes for good stealth camping. All the spots I camped at were tiny and would’ve been unusable for a big tent.

 

 

• My sleep system was non-existent. This was the part that was even sadder than my sad tent. I ran to IKEA and picked up a thin fleece blanket for £1.75, which I used in place of a pad or mat. This wasn’t a good idea. I folded the blanket but I could’ve just been lying on the floor – it was so thin. The cold seeped right through and created horrible cold spots. The ground was hard and bumpy, and I would be stuck in a solid position, then struggle into another uncomfortable position that was painful in a different way. I didn’t sleep much. So don’t go to IKEA to pick up a £1.75 fleece blanket and use it as a pad. The final night was a little warmer and I wrapped myself inside the blanket like a burrito. That was quite nice (comparably.)

• In lieu of two quilts held hostage beyond borders, I brought my Enlightened Equipment APEX Torrid insulated jacket (which I got for the PCT and turned out to be a great piece) and an ‘ultra light down’ jacket from Uniqlo. It’s the longer version I used for insulation under my (city) winter coat last year. I spread the Uniqlo layer on top of my legs and wore the Enlightened Equipment on top, and this was supposed to abolish the need for a sleeping bag. It didn’t abolish the need for a sleeping bag. It was cold. And therefore, I added one more layer:

• An emergency blanket. You got it. A £1.99 one-time-use-only silver and gold foil emergency blanket from Decathlon. As it inevitably got colder and colder, I got it out on night one and quickly realised why it’s one time use only: once you unfold it, it’s just a giant crinkly piece of foil you can’t ever fold back up again. It turned into a huge ball in a ziplock bag. It did work at adding a bit of warmth, but it certainly wasn’t stealth. The noise was incredible. I could’ve just used a huge sheet of plastic, as it pretty much would’ve worked the same way. I layered it on top of me which created condensation on the inside, but it did trap some heat (or moderate warmth, really.)

 

 

Clothing Worn

All my nice merino layers were, again, not in the country, so I hopped over to Decathlon for cheap alternatives. I felt stupidly embarrassed for buying a Decathlon outfit, which was of course stupid in itself. Decathlon is great for cheap stuff you don’t intend to use for the rest of your life. I found some running shorts and a long sleeve top (which I then had to return the next day because the small was too tight for my liking), and they were actually quite nice. The top was thin and dried quickly, and with a hike this short it really didn’t matter that it wasn’t merino wool.

The rest was old PCT gear. I wore ExOfficio underwear and my one pair of Injinji toe socks. La Sportiva Bushido trail runners (love those) and my PCT cap, which I picked up at REI after finishing the trail last year.

The clothes I wore worked great. I added my EE Torrid APEX and my sleep leggings when it was colder in the mornings. I didn’t need anything else.

 

Clothing Packed

Being on a trail for only 4 or 5 days I only brought a few extra things. I had the Patagonia Houdini windbreaker which was a great addition when it was chilly or windy. One extra pair of underwear and one pair of thin-normal-life-socks which I actually wore a few days when the Injinjis started to irritate (they do this when I haven’t worn them in a while due to all the fabric in between the toes.)

For sleeping I had a long sleeve Heattech Uniqlo top which I had lying around for normal use and a pair of basic Uniqlo leggings, which are light and thin. I always use these for camp wear. Had I brought an actual quilt, these clothes would have sufficed. Unfortunately in my case I ended up wearing every layer I had at night, and still failed to stay warm.
Lacking rain gear, I almost opted to bring a regular small umbrella, but decided against it at the last minute. The weather forecast was good and it didn’t rain. Another win!

 

 

Food + Drink

The frequent taps along the trail luckily made the need for any water purification needless, which was good, because you can probably guess where my Sawyer filter was hiding by now, and I really didn’t want to spend more money on purification tablets (plus I was running out of time for another trip into town.) I used plastic bottles to carry water (which I reuse still). I had one 750ml bottle and two 500ml, one of which had a wide brimmed top which was useful for spooning in coffee powder. These bottles were the perfect amount of water for me, but I probably would’ve required just a little more had I walked during the height of Summer.

Other than that I brought a Sea to Summit titanium spoon. I cold soak my food instead of using a stove so I ate out of ziplock bags. Unfortunately these are single use.

 

 

Toiletries + First Aid

I put some body lotion and toothpaste in smaller containers, shaved off a tiny bit of deodorant, gathered a tooth brush and tick tweezers (apparently there are ticks in the South Downs, but luckily I didn’t see any) and brought some tissues and baby wipes. I also had a pair of tiny embroidery scissors, sunscreen and anti-bacterial foam. I put a sliver of organic soap in a ziplock bag and being able to freshen up at some of the taps felt truly invigorating. I used the tiniest REI towel for this purpose which is one of the most useful pieces of gear. I didn’t stay at any official campsites or hostels along the way so this was the only way I could clean myself. I also got some Compeed blister plasters and the tiniest roll of tape I’ve ever seen to secure them with (I didn’t need them.) Oh, and the Kula Cloth pee rag. Always useful and saves on toilet paper.

 

 

Electronics + Personal Items

I have the cutest and lightest Zpacks wallet, which makes me ridiculously happy. I don’t know why, but it’s just adorable. My only other personal item was a face mask.

I did carry a few more electronics. My iPhone 8, Petzl Bindi headlamp (used as little as possible in order to remain stealth) and the Anker PowerCore II 20,000 mAh battery pack. This battery pack was huge overkill (I only used about a quarter) but at least I didn’t need to worry about charging along the way.

In my fanny pack I kept the electronics that were most important: the Sony RX100 5A camera which I used for pictures and filming, the Joby 325 Gorillapod tripod, an extra charged camera battery (inside a travel charger kit) and some cables and iPhone headphones.

 

 

As mentioned before, all of this pretty much weighed nothing, and apart from the sleep system, I (surprisingly) do recommend all the things I brought. The South Downs Way is a short hike (I did it in less than 5 days), and since I came from London I always had the option of simply bailing out if say, the weather turned torrential and my tent collapsed and a cow ate my fleece blanket. There are trains and buses and I could’ve been back in London in a matter of hours.

There was nothing I wished for that I didn’t have (apart from everything sleep related), and I used everything I did bring (apart from the tick tweezers and blister plasters, but that’s a good thing.)

I’m happy to report bringing improvised gear is very doable after all (but don’t do this if you don’t know what you’re doing.) (And don’t do it anywhere with real mountains, or exposed hills.) (Or anywhere remote.) (And don’t blame me if you do it and have a crappy trip because of it.)

Read more about my time on the South Downs Way here!